Falling to Pieces
When it rains, it friggin' pours, I say. Nothing like going back to work to completely undo all the good work that a vacation can do.
The new boss, nice guy that he is, is nonetheless the king of putting the cart before the horse. He doesn't want to get too bogged down in planning, I guess, but that's no reason to do stuff like hire a TV media buyer to run online promotions, or to contract a rush job to a designer that's going on vacation sooner than the project can get finished, and returning long after the deadline. Yeah, we'd all like to get things sorted out before the big fall/holiday buying rush. But I think most of us like to think things through beforehand.
For example: The media buyer has never, not ever, done anything relating to marketing, apart from buying ad time on TV stations. Yet he hired her to do the media buying thing and run our online marketing operations. She protested that she really didn't know anything about any of that (the elementary things I've had to explain...oy), and that she needed a job description. His idea of a job description? You'll be buying media for our direct TV offers, and running the online marketing operations. Fuck detail, do you want the job or not? At this point, I think she's feeling kind of not.
Remember how I was going to finally get an assistant? Well, I did, and I even got the one I really wanted, with no outside interference in the process. I knew there had to be a fuck-you in there somewhere--it was just too easy. Well, I found it. Somehow they've managed to assign him to a cubicle that's quite literally the furthest one from my office, in spite of the fact that there are two empty ones right outside my door. I can't actually see them, but let's just say that if someone in one of them scratched his ass, I could hear it. I like my assistant--he's willing to jump right in with minimal directions and he's meticulous, or at least he is so far (I personally believe that's something you can't fake, even for a day or two)--but the walking is already busting my ass. Well, my feet really.
Remember how I was getting a brand new bike? Well, I got it, and it's super-duper-extra-groovy, but I've only managed to put 10.6 miles on it, where I would have thought I'd have more like 100 by now. How come? Achilles tendinitis. My fucking heel kills,
and it just got worse over the vacation. I'm due to start physical therapy next Tuesday, but in the meantime it totally sucks, and I really can't ride. It doesn't hurt when I ride, but the next day I'm considering how bad amputation could really be. Maybe it gets a bad rap for cosmetic reasons, because I'm pretty sure it would be preferable to the pain in my heel. I feel I may have some insight into what Achilles' last moments were like--imagine your heel hurting so bad you died
When it really hurts is getting up in the night to take a pee--I find myself standing next to the bed trying to figure out how I'm going to take another step with my left foot without putting any weight on the right one. Physics being what they are, I haven't found a way to manage that (if I had, I wouldn't be nearly so stressed about a sore foot, 'cause I'd be able to fly), so I opt for the weird convulsive dance of simultaneously putting down my right foot, lifting my left one, and trying to bend my upper body forward at the same time in an odd hunched-over hop, all in a gambit to somehow make myself lighter on my bad foot. I fail, of course, but thanks to the gyrations, I fail spectacularly. So far I've managed to do all this without crying out in my agony, but the Kokopelli boogie has roused Girlygirl from sleep a few times.
After a few steps, things ease considerably, but I still have some pain walking for the rest of the day--like when I have to walk all the way across the fucking office to deal with my own goddamn assistant.
I know, whine, whine, whine. I'm just annoyed and stressed because I've had to do at least two other people's jobs for the last week, and now I have to keep trying to find new projects for my assistant that don't require any training, since I don't have time to do that, and that fucker works fast.